My Week in Review

Yeah I am now that chick who took the pic of the expecting mom lifting the dress up over her belly and her husband on one knee in the sweater vest looking up at her..... on the beach...... yes I have made some grown women cringe over the exposed belly and made my father relapse back when my mother was pregnant and he quickly asked me to remove the image from his sight to avoid the memories of my mother being a mean, irrational woman.

This will be framed and printed large to continue to produce mixed feelings of being uncomfortable, drawn by its amazing force, or ask me how those 2 got married and conceived little Delaney b/c he is wearing a sweater vest and she is barely dress.... Either way, the shot is my favorite of 2009 and hopefully 2010 will not let me be left of short supply new challenges artistically. I would like to thank both Danielle, Dustin, RJ and Heather for their help and love for photography..... Love you all and little Delaney....


(New Amalie Bente Logo design)



Yeah I am a sucker for babies, I was so excited to get pics of her that I had Danielle (Delaney's Mom) take a pic of me with my new tiny Kodack that I got as a Christmas Gift. Its portable, easy for fast shots and save's me from carting around the Nikon case everywhere. There is fun in accessibility and more interesting, random shots to capture in the moment of on the go.

I am also including some pics from Delaney's newborn shoot, just because I think she is the cutest little thing. It was fun, it was also very trying with the fabrics and Delaney's VERY sensitive skin.

The last piece I am posting is my new logo design for Amalie Bente Studios. 2010, my brand is evolving, have a stack of pieces that need to be added in my portfolio and my website layout hopefully will be completed to my liking. Oh the little projects I have been putting off for the past couple of months, with the New Year here, it is time for Marketing overload, thankfully I will have an assistant starting next week. This will definitely be a step into the right direction of running about without the fear of my head detaching from my neck and the gray hair grow will hopefully not be rapidly growing for a little while.

The weekend of the 23rd we will be doing Boudoir Style Shoots for a Valentine's Day treat to your special loved one. The package includes a book w/your favorite prints, Ashley's make-up talent, munchies, private session with either Heather Byrd with Infinity Images (her original idea and fellow red head photo who apparently has this amazing talent in talking me into posing for her in my underwear....why not.....(she can shoot me rolling about in the mudd, you don't turn down a student of Gene Ho for anything, you accept the honor and be blessed by the photog Gods that someone like her will give you the time.) This surprisingly did not go over the way I expected when I was telling Mr. Foster I was having a professional kick ass photographer and mentor take pics of me in my underwear..... but this came after the whole mix up with a forwarded email....lack of communication and well somehow caused a major offense towards me and Mr. Foster looking quite like an egotistically over protective man..... He worries about pissing off my father, but I have warned him to avoid the "no go areas" with me and you will be fine....

I got him profiled and logged his behavior patterns 3 weeks ago. Its one of those amazing, overly scary, and quite potentially can be dangerous to use if someone (or any of my female family members) are PMSing or if triggered the redhead trip crazy bitch switch in my head (very, very, rare) in this case I would advise you to run and run very, very, fast, objects will be flying and aimed for the sole purpose to take you down and make the fall hurt in the process of your body meeting the pavement..... Just kidding... I only threw a ring at the ex husband's head when he stumbled off in a moment of anger and got me so worked up that throwing the ring avoided my strangling his scrawny neck.... still a funny story when I think back;) I will be sending out and booking appointments in our office this week. Rachael will be getting everyone set up for their desired time and appointments can be booked under myself, Andy, Heather Byrd (Infinity Images) or RJ with RJ Photography and Design. I will be posting information on the shoots and each booked client will receive full detail in attire suggestions and make-up and hair choices. There will also be wine, munchies available while you are waiting. I will be posting all of the information for the shoot on Amalie Bente's Fan Page on Facebook pricing of the package will cover the seating fee, hair and make-up, and a 5x5 book with up to 20 images of your choice. Pricing for the packages will available tomorrow. If you have any questions before then, I can be emailed for the details, which my contact information will be made available and Rachael will be able to get you set up with as much material and info on the shoot, including the photographers. We are all women, all fun, and have to much energy to contain at times... Facebook Fan Page will be available tomorrow. Have a great weekend lovies!!!

2009 Year in Review......

I decided to post some of my visual work from 2009, there are many more images I would have loved to include but decided to keep it limited to the following images. These are my favorite from 2009. You can click on the image below to view it in a separate window in its actual size. Hope you enjoy! Happy New Year everyone! Andy-

Its been a while......

I know I have been horrible in the past few months by not posting any new content. Trust me its not as if I have had nothing to write about but I have been quite busy with my photography lately. If it is not one thing that I have a creative urge for it is another and well work has been keeping me pretty busy.I promise there will be more stories,my year in review, and plenty more to ramble on about. I have missed banging away on my Keyboard as of late and losing myself in my writings, but as I fight with the pen from time to time its the nature of my beast.

At the moment I am typing this message with the television blaring Criminal Minds on this Sunday after Christmas, there are photos to touch up, a photo shoot that I need to prep for and organize that is on Tuesday. The only thing I can think of is how I have not missed my MacBook Pro these past couple of weeks, there is an opened book that I have began reading to my left, and I am finally beginning to get rid of this nagging headache that has left me quite useless today......

I can truly admit that I am not at all unhappy to see the closing of 2009 coming to and end, though this has been a great year work wise, it has been more trying on a personal level, and yet I continue to progress. This is after all one of those things that Markov spoke about in his hierarchy of needs,I am beginning to become more aware.

So so my little pretties, I promise I will begin banging on these keys a lot more often and keep you updated. For now, I am off to watch myself some Television, an enjoyable, rediscovered pass time that I have truly missed. Andy-

The REAL Me

“I am dirty chai with a shot of espresso sometimes two, blank pages, abstract canvas, illuminated with color, the smell of earth with a hint of floral spiced incense, walks on the tips of my toes barefooted, and I am the smell of the ocean on a hot summer’s day. I am the gentle friend to a good solider, intensity, wit, honesty, and compassion. I am simply a woman of many things, of many faces. Most of all, my nature is not volatile, I yield to love, story telling, and the happiness in watching him come undone, only to be discovered elsewhere. I am a winter storm, fire, passionate. I wanted you to simply dine at my table, to know the things of my heart, had you not known the possession of my broken heart, I would have never parted ways with you. Though you knew the depths, you have seen the evil, the good, and the promising. I am merely just a woman of many things, with many faces. I am simply a woman….”

Harsh words travel in various mediums these days, but the same thing remains true, once those words have left the mind, traveled out of your head, onto paper, mouth, text, hood of a car, email, Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace its done. Once you do the unthinkable in a time of anger the one thing you CANNOT do is hit the delete button. Those words no longer belong to you, but the have been received to their new owner, where a lot of times does not settle to well.

There was always a hidden, very deep, vengeful element of my anger. Being very quick to become testy and condescending at the drop of a hat, as I got older the importance was not to jump too conclusions quickly. I began to work on my trigger happy temper, the need for a continuous argumentative state was no longer appealing, nor the drama in which was created was missed either. The euphoric frame of mind rested nicely into my new approach and from there I suppose it allowed people to think I was naive, to trusting, gullible, to forgiving and there were those times in my life, where the lessons in my weakness department felt overexposed. I am more open in what people say to me as truth and what they want me to hear, carefully understanding a person very quickly. I am an artist and I am a writer both combined create a very interesting combination in the people I spend my time around.

These days if you are just not a good listener, sociopath, or clearly to stupid too understand the words coming out of my mouth, there is something desperately wrong with you. But before it gets to that point, I am normally to impatient in dealing with the cattiness of the situation and my having a severe allergy to stupid in general, the day sets upon your wrath blinding my view of our days.

This is the darkest side of me, it’s even darker when I am pushed to reveal this mean creature, this year I have done so twice. Once with my ex boyfriend and recently to a new friend I had known only for a short while.

For the most part I will warn you of that level several times, this is not a threat, this is promise. I am warning you, not only am I warning you, I am giving you an ADVANCED warning to not try too pull one over on me. Given all of these warnings, you think some would get it, obviously not and how to catch a liar, if someone will accuse me of something that never happened, you better believe I will stick up for myself. After my explosive temper and vile wrath of low blow word bashing, there is an element of calm. Normally, like most, who argues, will apologize for those dreadful horrible things I called you (for the most part were true at one time or another) seek forgiveness and begin to rationally go over why I got mad.

When this madness occurs, I have been known to blow up a text message. Which like most of my friends have said, I need to stop using it all together. I switched to Twitter for these purposes alone so that I could learn how to SMS a text message. Me+ text messaging + wild flare up mad alter ego, not a good bag. Screw the email, I don’t even want the email anymore, it allows me to stay in one place, when I am mad, I get hyper. Pacing and the shaking of the hands are incorporated.

Truthfully, I really do not recall most of the things that I say during this time, really if it was blasted down, it was thought of at one point or another. I have called people child molesters, douche bags, I even meant it when I told Sam on the way back to New York once I was going to “hit her in the face with her cell phone and close up the other eye. So she could not see at all, if she did not quit freaking out while I was on the phone with her mom and telling me how to drive.” I meant every last word that day that came out of my mouth. It’s apart of the control button, how much behavior I will allow you to get away with, some like to have that test button. I do not live in that manner, if anything I hate antagonistic people. In fact antagonist, are not only the worst kind of cynical people, they actually find happiness in picking fights with other people. Look, don’t cut me off and jump to what you think I am, if you think I am, you obviously do not know me what so ever. At this point the anger, suspicion, and patience of waiting, allows me to gather all of the crap I have taken. This clearly when so mad and accelerated, which as you now understand, if you had a wall of random angry ball of nasty words sent to you, you would think the person is off their rocker. When two people fight, they only want to see what made them angry, they fail to see what the cause of the anger began with. I have horrible habits my friends hate about me, I wonder off when I have been drinking, I

I will make this completely clear to you, if you do not get the satisfaction being told the truth, because mainly when people get caught, they get upset. Clearly, I have established that you are not telling me the truth, yet you are going to get upset with me? Interesting, please continue, as I ripped you a new asshole, try to convince me I need a new one as well. Temper, temper Charlotte, I am very sorry that out of all of these times we had discussions and I explained clearly my behavioral pattern, why I do certain things I do, you obviously did not listen because you did not care. Here comes the series of presented facts,

Getting angry, never solves anything, nor does it allow the person who is lying to you too get away with that sort of behavior. I have found with many men, their lies, especially with my encounters are given by over inflated perceptions of themselves, the thought of more than one person liking them, doing things with them, and having sex creates a better alternative than the nagging girlfriend who appears to stupid too catch you in a lie. Women do it as well, no one by any means is perfect but the process of becoming an adult is to accept responsibility of your behavior and give the effective, proactive, and especially in friendship and relationships alike are healthy due to communication, simple. Honesty and trust are what creates strong friendships even when developing a relationship with a potential significant other.

Rant of the day: Hi I am a Redhead please don't hold anything against me or what I might throw at you.....

If I can could get a hold you, watch out. I can be a very mean intolerable person. I just might make a move and crack your skull open.....well not really. There comes a point in one's life that we all get to that crossroad of morals or becoming a straight bitch. Yes I am small and cute but I am also scrappy. You pull one on me, you better make damn sure to watch your back, I will get one over on you, you will not see it coming....sorry for those in advance for my ever so popular shit list, which is rather lengthy these days.

I enjoy the thrill of playing dumb, but I also rather enjoy my high IQ as well. So possibly this quick scribble merits a reason behind this posting.... well you see,over the recent months I have been studying the habits of men profoundly, in large numbers they are all douches, by themselves, they are quite sweet. Yeah I liked it better when Jay did not explain what attracts method to his madness, I do not need explanations these days. If I knew half of the reason why I did what I did, well I could be considered a God of sorts. Considering I am not God or understand why I have this excessive urge to be clean, or write checks to the grocery store, and even more why I have a flamed temper of a devil, but I know this much each side is apart of me. The good ones,I enjoy boasting about, I am a kind person, I would walk over fire for you. But don't and I repeat don't take advantage of my kind nature, I have left a few people crippled in my life due to the foot in mouth disease I carry. I refer that as a very rabid infection, its not pretty either. So a little over a month ago, I decided that perhaps after my vitriolic text war with G, I would apologize, make amends. You know after all that is the Christian thing to do, I believe in making things right, WRONG. G does not realize that once you have done the shit he has done and obviously you cannot teach old dogs new tricks, I get a glance at what I remembered him as. WRONG again sucker, you must eat dummy wheat's for Breakfast. I believe stupidity is a horrible disease as well, in fact if left in the room for a year w/o food, the stupid person would not even be good enough food for me. Seriously old side kick, you have lost your marbles and have made an investment in referring to me as many hateful things.......oh well old story of time on the dry land.I suppose and as Allie says "I will gladly hold your head under the water, it of course only will hurt for a little while until you lose consciousnesses.
But out of the bad there are many rather good things that comes from learning life's lessons, Tuesday I brought Jay over some spaghetti and like most before him there is a fascination with people bathing and me sitting in there chatting while they do so. Jay brings up the subject of us, slowly, I felt the rashes popping up on my chest. Same story, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, but both who have this uncanny ability to attract shit too us that has left both crippled. Well, one thing I have proven to myself, NEVER rely on a man, Grazy told Allie that when he left me, he was proving to me that 1) I could not live without him (no Grazy, I could and can live without you) 2) that he was going to do too me like I had done to others.... (What? Come again? hmmmmm......interesting please continue fucktard, merely on purposes that you are amusing me and 3) the shear joy of the above mentioned will try to con me into believing I am everything you say I am.

Well for sure I am many things, but what you pulled out of your hat are not even the tip of my iceberg doll, shit you are not even on the same planet douche. Wow, oooopsss I am sorry, the testy rant of being me is hard at times. Why do I continue to discuss my enemy may you ask? Well for a very long time I never said enough of Grazy and like most loyal EX girlfriends, I stuck up for him a substantial amount. Funny I do that so well for other people, everyone fails to see the person I create opposed to the REAL person they are. The truth is I did love someone, I got shitted on and yeah I deserved it, I really deserved to do what I had done to others.

The only difference is the lesson should have been best taught by someone who actually walked and talked like a man, and preferably had a pair of balls that dropped, but as I have found, God has a lovely sense of humor about these things. So yes, I genuinely believe in Karma, hell we all have to. If I had thought for one second, why me God, why me? I would be kidding myself to the front of the line in hell. See there is a significant measure between myself and most people, I gladly accept blame when I make a mistake, most choose the passive, coward route to blame others. Well as I have said time and time again, I bare no judgment on those who live like that and just as Jay explained profoundly on Tuesday, I live for each day. There is nothing above and beyond tomorrow for me, baby steps young 20 somethings. I had my life planned out, but God has a way with us when we are alone to quickly remind you that plans are very humorous to him, bless that all knowing soul.
So as I planned this well, I had it laid all out, if given the chance to know what side my Soddy Grazy was sitting on.....I gave him a test.......
Well I told the truth, only to spark a sucker blow to his overly inflated image, to remind him that what he thought of me was not true. He blew my ego a few months before, only because.....well he had no clue who I was when I was his age. Though we all live and learn fast, some of us are not capable of par. Long shots are hard to nail, but damn I did it well. So I left him with this...... I am not apologizing for you anymore. You made your own bed, so you lie in it. Like I said we are not on the same planet hun, Jay smacks himself relentlessly because my types are materialistic, they expect men to kiss the feet of this dirty minx. Men are conquest and they are to funny too look at naked. This was a redhead moment brought to you by Andy..... and the Rant plays on.

I suppose you are somewhat famous when you have a stalker......

A few weeks ago I encountered my first stalker. I am often very flattered by all of the men and women who take the time to read my blog and commend me for the way I write. After all, I began writing to contribute my thoughts in the world. I continue to take time out of my busy schedule and share a little bit of my world with the people who enjoy my rather wayward ways. I write primarily because I found it to be cathartic and since I am a visual artist and Graphic Designer, I have always been elusively enticed by the power of the written form as well. I was a weird child and I am very much a very eccentric adult, the people in which I choose to spend my time with these days, graciously embrace me for who I am opposed to what I can do for them, relationships of ANY form are approached by me in this regard. Honestly I understand the Internet stalking has been an issue and truly Twitter was created for the right sort of person and "their stweeters" (compliments to Allie on that one means Tweeps who are Stalkers) to see. I have mentioned in a lot of tweets, where I am hanging out, and certain details/rants that I have regarding my life. As my friend Donnie advised me several weeks ago when this Internet stalker got a little to much out of hand, that merely Internet stalkers are cowards, they are far to lazy to actually get up off their ass and follow you around. Internet stalkers do not bother me, I can simply block you in any form possible in contacting me via electronically. Simple, I don't care what one says about me, because truly I do not waste my time in taking on immature coward retorts. I had this very issue back in February with Grazy. In fact I welcome anyone who will grow a pair of balls and try to actually say some of the shite that has been written about me over social media. Call me crazy to my face and I will assure you that will be the last thing I will leave one lasting impression with. Anyone who gladly takes on the challenge of constructing half the craziness I have seen come from the fingers of the feeble minded has not been admitted to my face.
I will take you back a few weeks ago,I was at home sitting up doing some research for homework and had a couple of friends I was speaking to over Twitter while I was working and recall the agitation from that week. My Internet stalker had my cell number, anytime I had updated on Twitter that week, I received a Text message regarding my thoughts. Now I have no issues with text messaging, but come ON!! I tweet so I can place my random thoughts in one place and not have to have 85 million people bother me over it via TEXT this is what Twitter is for. As I have mentioned several times, I love the people I speak with on Twitter, I have met some really cool people, yes a couple of them have my cell phone number,some of them can contact me via Blackberry Messenger, but as I stated, I do not need you in the shower with me every day and be up my ass. If I have to see tweets directed towards me and you insinuating we were dating and I am your girlfriend, you have hit a very ill nerve with me. Trust me I have more intimate moments with my vibrator and prefer it to stay that way. Not to mention a week before, I had met Jay who honestly really had taken my breath away, it is sort of hard when you have to hide out over at your best friends house because you do not want to stay the night alone because you sort of have that fear someone will be knocking on your door at 1am in the morning trying to wake you up. I even had to sit down and explain to Jay and the video voyeur that I had a small issue with someone who was very interested in me, he was young and hopefully he would learn his lesson to pursue too the point of someone having to change their cell phone number and bother the shit out of your co workers because you are bitching and jumping every time your phone goes off. Honestly, after I blocked him from contact, told his best friend he freaked me the hell out, and eventually had the douche bag spill the beans that he was giving our conversation to my stalker after I specifically and forcefully told him to take a long walk off a bridge because he obviously had issues I could not help him with I was over it by Monday.
Life began to get back too normal, Jay and I were hanging out more, I was getting back into the creative swing by doing late night photo shoots and fell into my routine not missing a beat.
I vowed a promise to myself then and there, I would NEVER date someone who read my blogs and really took a keen interest in my style and I especially would never date someone who acted completely nuts when you repeatedly told them you were not interested in having a boyfriend. My father and I had a very long conversation regarding this issue, I know I am a very polite person when telling someone I am not interested in them on a romantic level but please do not ask me and or push me to stay the night at my house, or ask me why I did not invite you to go my God daughter's birthday party, and bug the shit out of me over things I feel I have to make a decision right then and there about my future.
I am an artist and rather moody at times and in order for me to take interest in a person I want to share my time with none of these ways are the best approach to take me on. Anyone who knows me in the slightest forms the quick opinion I am not one to be intellectual property and jump when you ask me to, I do what I want, when I feel like it, end of.
As I have mentioned relentlessly over and over again, it is a PRIVILEGE for someone to be in my life not vice verse, I will treat you good and talk to you about anything and everything but NEVER take advantage of the little bit of gentle nature I have. I am very boundary oriented, I have every reason to be because I never settle for less than my capabilities. I take pride in my accomplishments and will talk to you over any subject you throw at me. I am not embarrassed about anything I have done or the people I have allowed to consume me at the worst of times in my life, I built character out of those circumstances. As a writer, I will consume myself with my Sagittarius nature and offer advice to anyone, I have spent several years listening, researching, and experiencing the relationships between men and women alike. But when someone gets off their head and values my perceptions way to much, I have to part my time there. Life is not meant to be several others opinions that you gather use and idealize, I have surely been influenced by many people, sought acceptance in my time, but at the end of the day I clearly am happy with forming my opinions of the world and people I interact with. Life is meant to be that way. You wanna know this girl, be yourself, truly it goes a long way........

Why this face is not the Poster Child for Marriage......

"Well Andy you see, I have not had the best role model's when it comes to marriage. I mean your marriage, look how that turned out....." I suppose I am the constant reminder of why people should not get married. I am glad that out of my one experience, people do not throw caution to the wind. But my marriage was not a total waste of time. I learned that when sleep deprived enough, I cannot share my bed with another person. I desperately cannot tell you the horrible ways in those sleepless nights I sat up looking over at my beloved other half and thought to myself, "if I just place the pillow over his face, I am sure he will quit snoring." Then once rational thoughts came in play or knowing that the police look at the spouse as the first suspect. I would pick up my pillow and head down stairs to brave another sleepless night on the couch or as we call over here in the States a love seat and wake up with a horrid pain in my neck and one or both of my step children staring at me wanting breakfast.
I also learned how to iron clothes and cook homemade meals from scratch. I also learned that even when things do not work out between husband and wife, men can still act like douche bags. After months of trying to reconcile, family issues, and trust issues, I gave the ex husband a true piece of my mind. Afterall, if there was anything I learned about marriage apart from many nights and months without sex, that I loved sex, I missed sex, in fact I thought it was shameful to sleep with a man I no longer loved. Suppose I could get my frivolous thrills elsewhere and with other men that I had been missing out on all these years. If Grazy had not made a home in my heart some months after I left my husband, I am sure it would have been easier to resort too my old ways. I learned a lot about marriage, I accepted monogamy and became ultra conservative in my years of party going bad habits. I paid my dues towards marriage, but I give myself this much. I am not its poster child.......